Polar North Estates
25 Reindeer Stable
Nunavut, Canada 


Dear ___________,*

Thank you for your scribbled indecipherables.

Please be advised that illegible requests receive default presents at management discretion.

Said presents may be of a value significantly less than the original puerile demand.

Management takes no responsibility for coal lumps broken in transit.

*Not responsible for letters mis-sent to smudged addresses