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The Ed C. Scrolls
by Edmund Conti

Adam and Cain

Like father.
No like son.
Adam Gets a Ribbing

She beckoned, “I, Eve,
Come into my cave,”
I was so na´ve
I thought I was na´ve.

to all
Ah, Woes By Any Other Name

I wondered who woe was
But now I see
With more problems than Noah’s
Woe is me!
Amazing Grace

Damn hymn.
Damn her.   
Ars Longa

You can’t take it with you
in the case of Van Gogh
It would be nice
to come back and get it.
Being God is no Picnic

His eye is on the sparrow
His eye to the praying mantis
But He just put his foot down
Where that poor little ant is.

Without physical fitness
My clothing would fit less
As God is my witness
(His eye’s on the witless).
Confessional Poem

Bless me, Reader,
For I have sinned.
It is four years
Since my last poem.

I have this pious fear
That God may have to be excluded from
        our biosphere. 
Crowd Pleaser

It’s morbid or thrilling
When a favorite dies.
God forbid or God willing
Whichever applies.

but for
W.R. Grace and God
go  I.
Divine Scripture

The next one
who calls me
‘She’ is gonna
catch Hell.
Felicific Calculus

I figured out
This happy fact:
I’m not devout
But still intact.

Not for me the rose so red
And not the pink carnation.
No flowers please, send cash instead
To my next incarnation.
Getting Evolved

Go, Said God, you’ve paid your dues
And so I crawled from the primordial ooze.
Now let me say, without dismaying them
(those crawling out now), you never stop paying them.
Give and Take

Give us
this day
our daily bread.

On any
given day
I can give you bread.
In the Beginning was the F-word

And God said
BE fruitful
and multiply
but don’t
talk about it.
Good News/Bad News

Concerned about the hereafter?
Well don’t be.
It will be there with joy and laughter.
You won’t be.

Grace Notes

Thank you, Lord for
our food and drink
and our clever-

ness in express-
ing our thanks  in
unrhymed freedom.
Job and the Amazing Technicolor M&M’s

I like the pretty little fellows
The oranges, the greens and yellows
I even like the tan.
But when I go to down one
I always grab a brown one
According  to God’s plan.
Modern Day Parenting

Of all the problems
bothering Job
one of them wasn’t
his son’s pierced lobe.
Monday the Rabbi Wrote Poems

The sword is
mightier than the
Missionary Position

Say ‘No’ to Hell
Or go to Hell.
Nearer Thy God?

The morning’s at seven
And all that good stuff.
God’s in his Heaven.
I’m here.  Close enough.

and God.
Pro Tempore
(to our seven-foot freshman)

Godspeed, with prayers:
Nunc Dimittis—
To the players
Who dunk and quit us.   
Punner’s Envy

Do not be jealous
Of word-play inventions.
The road to Hell is
Paved with non-intentions.

I’ll do it
Re-do it
Re-redo it
But then
I won’t altar it again.

I’m really no priest
My confessor confessed
I’m one of my country’s  best spies.
But I’ll give you, at least,
If you want to be blessed,
A blessing in disguise.
The Gospel According to General Motors

We’d reach the stars
Would be empowered
If all our cars
Were G. M. powered.
The Nation’s Infrastructure

It’s not the landlord
Who does the maintenance
And, Lord,
It surely ain’t tenants.
The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Intentions

There Are No Atheists in Potholes

God- amn!

Till Death Do You Part

The spirit within you
Is here for the ride.
Its life will continue
When you’ve gone and died.
Zen and Zensibility

It’s like you’re yin and yang, yourself
When things are so damned hopeless.
You feel you ought to hang yourself
And can’t, because you’re ropeless.     
Saying Amen to my Poems

I’m going to be a pest if I
Don’t hear anybody testify.
Poetry Reading

They say “Break a leg”
(good luck) in show biz
But as poets we beg
Ora pro nobis.
The Late (but unlamented) News

All’s right with the world
God’s in His Heaven
(as far as I know.
I’m asleep by eleven).