Should I Say
Anything - About That Growth
by Carol
McKenzie
I am happy to
report I have been swimming recently at a senior
citizens only pool. Swimming was a good idea, but
the senior pool may have been a mistake.
I was churning
the water delightfully in a private lane next to
the free-for-all section (thankfully that does
not mean total nudity). A man had clearly been in
the pool since 1975, if not longer. His flesh was
beyond barbecued rib or roasted pork levels. His
skin was a speckled deep red/brown I have only
seen in people abandoned at sea for weeks with no
shade. I could almost hear his tissue sizzling
like a steak on the grill.
A more
disturbing observation was an uneven appearing
bump on his back, the size of which was
frightening. He was happily splashing his way
through the water with this lump occupying an
abundant chunk of his shoulder blade. He appeared
unaware of its presence.
Are social
etiquette rules in place allowing me to reach out
to him about the misshapen growth that may be in
need of an emergent professional medical opinion?
Perhaps everyone at the pool was aware of it and
since they were not fond of this particular
fellow, they were just patiently waiting for it
to expand into his internal organs. From what I
viewed, ground-penetrating radar may be necessary
to identify this unknown entity.
The positive
aspect was I swam extra laps trying to get a
clearer medical understanding of what type of
growth it might be. Using a drone might be a more
discreet surveillance method, as soon as I can
afford one.
I plan on
calling the CUG, (Center for Unidentified Growths),
and speaking to them regarding reporting such
scary blemishes. I will also inquire if there are
any fines for NOT reporting what may be an
unfolding health crisis. The crisis would be if
someone in the pool screamed, “Yuck, what is
that big thing growing on your back?" And
the pool had to be evacuated and chemically
sanitized.
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