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Shocking Revelations About The World's Most Interesting Man
by R.D. Ronstad

He can't get enough of passive verbs.
When he has a bright idea, a glow stick appears above his head.
Brick walls have a saying: "It's like talking to that Dos Equis guy."
He doesn't go to many movies, but when he does, he prefers Alan Smithee films.
That tattoo picture of him his mother has on her arm? It's to remind her of who he is when he's sitting across from her.
Mimes tell each other jokes about him.
He served as the inspiration for the title character in the movie The Puffy Chair.
He needs special glasses to see things in 2D.
He kind of enjoys watching paint dry.
He would like Rice Krispies more if they just crackled.
He makes a better window than a door.
Sometimes on long trips his luggage loses him.
The Darks Ages were actually pretty happenin' until he time-traveled there in a 1970 AMC Gremlin.
Himself is always beating him up.
He didn't attend his high school reunion but people there still kept saying to him: "You haven't changed a bit."
His nickname in the military was "Mannequin Skywalker."
He put the "super" in "superfluous."
Scientists think he could visit Jupiter and not gain any weight.
He rides elevators just to hear the music.
He is being stalked by someone known as "The Blue Fairy."
He doesn't often drink ale, but when he does, he prefers ginger ale.