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Reasons To Go Greyhound
by R.D. Ronstad

You don’t want to take any chance of getting there being half the fun. Why dilute the fun of "there."

You need to get somewhere you don’t really want to go.

You like people, and you want it to stop.

You're knees have been giving you a hard time and you want to teach them a lesson.

You had no choice; you just pushed the engage button on that blasted prototype time machine, and the next thing you know you're on a Greyhound bus headed toward Blytheville, Arkansas.

No one can throw you under the bus if you're on the bus.

You can pretend you're Willie Nelson (if you have a great imagination and keep your eyes closed).

No takeoffs, no landings. (Usually).

You hope you will come across that “very special” McDonald’s you forgot the exact location of.

You thought they’d let you ride a greyhound.

You‘re claustrohedonic.