The Short Humour Site

Home : Writers' Showcase : Submission Guidelines : A Man of a Few More Words : Links

Writers' Showcase

Pretending to be a Song Writer
(First stanza by Buck Ram)
by Edmund Conti

Oh, yes, I’m the great pretender
Pretending  that I’m doing well
My need is such that I pretend too much
I’m lonely but no one can tell.

Oh yes, I’m the great bartender
Pretending I know what you drink
“The usual, Sir?” for your shot and a beer
I’m here if you’ve need for a shrink.

Oh yes, I’m the great defender
I’ll be there when things run amok.
In times of doom, I’ll be in my room.
Just knock, and then knock and then knock.

Oh yes, I’m the big time spender
Why settle  for less than the best?
An iPhone-8?  Why hesitate?
I want it with all of the rest.

Oh yes, I’m the great spot-trender.
Trend-spotter, I guess what I mean.
I like to sing of the next big thing
That hasn’t been seen in Racine.

Oh yes, I’m the great cash lender.
Just come to me when you’re broke.
The twenty  per cent will pay my rent
And let you have just one more toke.    

Oh yes, I’m the great ear-bender
I’ve many a tale to unfold.
Been there, done that, it’s where I’m at.
Hey! Please don’t you put me Hold.