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One Buttress Short (Rh)
by Jerry Robbins

My teacher is a doctor of Ed
He has a brainy look
But actually inside his head
His receiver is off the hook

A woman's allure is seductive
Especially one that is fair
But try to be more objective
She may be dumber than air

A preacher who was very uptight
But pleasantly congenial
Although he seemed to be alright
Was one buttress short of a cathedral

Race car drivers have my respect
They earn what the crowd confers
But sometimes I do seriously suspect
They're not firing on all cylinders

He's a work of art, a fine mansion
Furnished with flourishes and flairs
But upon closer inspection
He's got rooms to rent upstairs

A celebrity disease?
Brain Dead Syndrome
The porch light is on
But nobody's home
(a bright light, dull-witted)

My lawyer is a shy man
He won't argue or nit pic
When it comes to a legal plan
He's two hoagies short of a picnic

A contractor came our roof to recover
No longer would we be wet
But unfortunately I was to discover
He was several bricks short of a pallet

The surgeon said he could cure gout
He did his best to assure her
To her dismay she did find out
He was not the sharpest knife in the drawer

We listen to economists
Their fiscal solutions they rehearse
Proving evolution has stopped
And switched into reverse

Our hometown team never wins
Whether away or playing host
The problem we have come to see
Long yardage between the goalposts

Martha Stewart cooks up a meal
While fattening up her bankroll
Her shady finances doth reveal
No noodles in her casserole

Farmers are a practical sort
Not given to folderol
But some are, I'm sorry to report
Ten potatoes short of a bushel

Check our leaders from ear to ear
To show us the brains they got
We are  dismayed when we hear 
C'est pas un 100 watt
(He's not a bright light)

Remember the man, Ross Perot
A presidential contender
Always good for a lively show
But half a bubble off center

Philosophers and theologians alike
Weave schemes for you and me
But these schemes are usually
A few stitches short of a tapestry