The Short Humour Site

Home : Writers' Showcase : Submission Guidelines : A Man of a Few More Words : Links

Writers' Showcase

My Jack Bauer (or Chuck Norris, Take Your Pick) List 
by R.D. Ronstad

The boogeychildren are afraid Jack Bauer’s in the closet. 

Santa always gives Jack Bauer what he wants, and nice ain’t got nothin’ to do with it.

Jack Bauer could beat you to a bloody pulp with one arm tied behind Edgar’s back.

Jack Bauer could beat you to a bloody pulp with one arm tied to a rusty Buick at the bottom of Long Beach Harbor. 

You think the following events take place between 2 PM and 3 PM, but maybe that’s just what Jack Bauer wants you to think.

Jack Bauer has a dark alley named after him. 

A suspected terrorist was picked up in Los Angeles and charged with public lewdness after being seen wandering the streets pantsless. When questioned, he claimed he'd thought he saw Jack Bauer and it scared the pants off him.

It never hurts Jack Bauer more than it hurts you. 

Jack Bauer once wrestled pi to the ground. 

If Jack Bauer were stranded alone for 1500 days on a desert island, he‘d find 1500 different ways to make Wilson confess.

When Jack Bauer hits the road, the road says "uncle."