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Light Game
by Edmund Conti

Match the items in Column A with those in Column B.
Column A is the list on the left.
Column B is to the right of Column C.
There is no Column C.

See answers below.
Not now, after you complete the test.

1. Saran Wrap a. static cling
2. razor burn  b. cappuccino
3. mincemeat c. Brown University
4. space heater  d. harpsichord
5. futon e. Social Security
6. microwave f. mispelling
7. chainsaw  g. waterslide
8. fondu h. watershed
9. plaque buildup i. BBC
10. Archie j. emission 


(“There are no long answers.”  --Sir Wiscrack Newton)

1. 1-a. 2-b. 3-c. 4-d. 5-e. 6-f. 7-g. 8-h. 9-i. 10-j.
(Good try. Not correct, but you evidently didn't waste too much time on it.)

(Take your time.  There is no time limit.)

3. 1-j. 2-i. 3-h. 4-g. 5-f. 6-e. 7-d. 8-c. 9-b. 10-a.
(I can sympathise with your affliction, but this isn’t the proper forum for it.)

4. 4-i.
(What is this?  Some kind of political statement?)

5. This is silly.
(I agree.)

6. 1-j. 2-j. 3-j. 4-j. 5-j. 6-j. 7-j. 8-j. 9-j. 10-j.
(Please make an appointment to see me next week.)

7. 7-c. 7-e. 7-g. 7-i.
(Have you ever considered a career in the movies?

8. 1-2.  2-3. 9-10. a-b-c. f-g. h-h. b-9.
(Please go back and re-read the instructions.)

9. 10. 9. 8. 7. 6. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. Waterslide!!!
(I’m with you.)

10. Cappuccino, cappuccino, mincemeat, fondu.
(Yes, but only if sung to the tune of “Mona Lisa.”


Give yourself 1 to 10 points.  Be generous but not foolhardy.



9-10.  We have reason to believe you may have cheated.
7-8. Have you ever noticed that those who do well on magazine tests
don’t do well in life?
0-2. Have you ever noticed that those who don’t do well on magazine
tests don’t do well in life?
3-6. Nothing special.
5.  What makes you think you are special.  See above.