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Gol' Corral
(Parody of "Old Town Road")
by Mick ” SeasnŠin

Yeah, I’m gonna wear sweatpants to the Gol’ Corral
I’m gonna eat ‘til I can’t no more
I’m gonna wear sweatpants to the Gol’ Corral
I’m gonna eat ‘til I can’t no more (Yum, Yum)
 
Prime rib’s in the back
That piece with lots o’ fat
Add a stick o’ butter
Cuz I like it like that
 
Shrimp’s my second course, mmm
You can fill your purse
I got another sundae
Extra syrup on soft serve, burp
 
Doctors can’t tell me nothin’
Cholesterol don’t mean nothin’
Doctors can’t tell me nothin’
Cholesterol don’t mean nothin’
 
Munchin’ deep fried batter,
Greens don’t seem to matter
Reheated turkey gravy
Drippin’ from my platter
 
People get unruly
Bumpin’ all into me
But I get to the sushi
It’s only here on Tuesday
 
Doctors can’t tell me nothin’
Cholesterol don’t mean nothin’
Doctors can’t tell me nothin’
Cholesterol don’t mean nothin’
 
Fork down, quarter pound, chewin’ on a lobster
Slurping down sodas faster than Nascar
Baby’s got a habit: onion rings with spicy orange sauce
Scarfin’ maple glazed bacon like it’s caviar
Got no stress, I’ve eaten all that
I’m like a Prilosec man so I pop one back
Always gonna wear sweatpants to the Gol’ Corral
And eat ‘til I can’t no more
 
Yeah, I’m gonna wear sweatpants to the Gol’ Corral
I’m gonna eat ‘til I can’t no more
I’m gonna wear sweatpants to the Gol’ Corral
I’m gonna eat ‘til I can’t no more (Yum, Yum)
I want some…


Originally published in The Satirist: https://www.thesatirist.com/poems/gonna-wear-sweatpants-to-the-gol-corral.html