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Feebly Humorous Christmas Songs That Haven't Been Written Yet
by R.D. Ronstad

I Won’t Be Working for You This Christmas, Mr. Walmart, So Hang My Stocking
Grandma Got Run Over by Mannheim Steamroller
Have Yourself a Very Merry The Holiday Formerly Known as Christmas
The Twelve Days of Christmas Remix, or, The Twelve Days of Christmas Not Necessarily in Order
I Want a Hypothalamus for Christmas
The “You’ll Shoot Your Eye Out” Polka
The Short Sweet Life of Frosty the Snowcone
They All Said Oh! When I Walked into the Tannenbaum at Bausch and Lomb
I’ll Be Home for Christmas (You Can Rag on Me)
Health Nuts Boasting … C’mon an’ Open Fire
Santa Made My Chimney Weep
Baby It's Cold Outside, But We're Fur-bearing Animals So Who Cares Anyway (written and sung by Sandy M. Cheeks and Alvin the Chipmunk)
The Maid Who Wouldn’t A-Milk
The Elf Fell in the Pretzel Dough, And Now the Elf is Pretzelly
I’m Feeling Rather Jingleless This Christmas
I Heard Mommy Dissing Santa Claus
Santa was Pissed as He Put Me on His List
Wheeze Mr. Postman
My Thumb is Numb (The Bell Ringer's Lament)
They Wanted to Return My Presence
Santa Claus is Bummin' Around (Sung to the tune of...well, you know)