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All the President's Words
by Jerry Robbins

My New Year' s resolution:  "To make more bad decisions sooner."

Trump's wife Melania at graveside,   "Yes, Dear, I'll tell them thousands attended."

Trump, throttling person with sign, "I'm with stupid," says,   "I love poorly educated people."

Just before the ICBM hits the White House,  "We'll see."

Sessions  playing golf with the president at underwater Florida course, "No global warming, no global warming, no..."

Trump at Miss America Contest, "I didn't molest her... Well, maybe...Whatever."

Trump sitting on his Mexico wall, "Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall..."

Trump on gun control, "Stickin'  to my guns."

In front of the EPA watchdog, "Don't let him loose."

"This tax cut won't help me...more than several million."

"I never cozied up to the Russians...Maybe slept with them,  but...

"I came to clean the swamp.  Now, let's see who likes me and we'll keep him." 

"We'll make it Jerusalem, wherever that is."

In the emergency room, "I'm the healthiest president ever."

"Foreign affairs: "Let's see who we can insult today."

On Hitler:  "I like him ... a strong leader."

On his Cabinet: "They all pledged their loyalty to me and they better damn well give it."

On Trump, Jr. :   "You gotta love him. He's just like me."
"There's a gym here?"

To St.Peter at the Pearly Gates, "What  a dump."