Reflects on Donald Trump and The Threat to
So I got a
call from Trump. All right, Im lying mate.
The Prime Minister called me after HE talked to
Trump about refugees and illegals. We kangaroos
dont get the best cell phone coverage, but
thats beside the point.
been branded terrorists. And illegals. Pretty
clever, mate. Thats why we have pouches. It
isnt to transport our children, or to give
Hugh Jackman rides to filming sites whenever hes
in the Outback. Its to smuggle explosives.
And drugs for that matter.
There goes my
scheme. Ive always wanted to visit the
United States. Just bounce across the nation, see
the sights, like a sort of kangaroo Jack Kerouac.
I like that. Thats what you can call me.
Kangaroo Kerouac. But apparently were a
threat. Right up there with the Muslims and the
We can also
jump pretty high. Isnt that a sure sign of
a drug dealer? We can scale your wall, Mr. Trump.
You build a thirteen-foot wall, mate, well
jump over it. Or better yet, well dig a
But that aint
happening mate. Thanks to your vetting process,
coming is impossible. I mean what do you ask a
kangaroo? Its not like we have Social
Security cards or surnames. Or health care.
But I could
use a serving of that Obamacare for my nephew. Well
call him Barry. Yes, after your allegedly Kenyan
ex-president. We kangaroos need to stay in good
health so we can smuggle drugs and mess up the
world with our Marsupial Lives Matter movement.
Marsupial supremacy, mate. We need to eat and
consume anything in our path.
you Mr. Trump, except I understand you taste like
chicken. Orange chicken. Dont get me wrong,
mate. Chickens are decent people. But you give
chickens a bad name.
about the chickens. Im sure youll be
cracking down on them soon. Chik-Fil-As will be
raided by the day, as you look for illegal
chickens. After us kangaroos. And no doubt
squirrels will be next. Operation Nutcracker.
But like I
said, back to my story. You can call me Kangaroo
Kerouac. But I dont have a real name in
that sense. So I must be dangerous. Because who
are you without a name? You must be hiding
I love America.
But what the heck mates? I cant count on
you. I cant even come in and dine on your
fine cuisine. So all I can do is march with my
fellow marsupials. Ill even befriend a
koala bear, even though we dont have the
best history. A koala ran off with my wife. But I
dont want to see the koala deported.
But to heck
with that. Well protest the Prime Minister.
Well protest this injustice to kangaroos.
An injustice to kangaroos anywhere is an
injustice to species everywhere. The enemy of my
enemy of my enemy is my friend.
mess with kangaroos.
Marsupials Great Again.